


Wizard Wip

by IHaveNothingToDo



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Non-Linear Narrative, i aint even gonna tag this anything, it's whatever tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-06 06:12:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17934341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IHaveNothingToDo/pseuds/IHaveNothingToDo
Summary: Becoming an apprentice during my 6th solar year was a goddamn Mistake. It was a mistake but I signed the bloody contract so I will endure. I must see this through.





	1. An Old Wizard Learns New Tech (sorta)

**Author's Note:**

> this is possibly the most wishy washy set of tags/summary I've ever posted to this account but I doNT CARE!!
> 
> WELCOME TO THE WIZARD WIP I FIGURED I SHOULD JUST ACTUALLY START POSTING THIS SO KAY AND I CAN SCREAM TOGETHER EVEN MORE

“This.” 

 

“This!”

 

I blink slowly, turning away from the so called rune carved into the dirt at our feet to stare at my mentor, “this is a uwu face you drew in the dirt 30 seconds ago. I watched you.” 

 

They shake their head, the book in their hand stretching into a computer keyboard, as dread settles deep into my bones. A quick succession of hand movements later a damned :3 floats in front of my face, bathing me in the soft gold orange of lazy magic.    
  


“You didn't even give it an element!” I dash my hand through the face, insulted by color of it. 

 

“I don't have to!”

 

“YOU TOLD ME I HAD TOO!!”

 

Smirking at me, god honest  _ smirking at me _ , they wink, “I said you have to. Never said  _ I _ had to.” 

 

The leaking magic coming from me, tinted brownish with my frustration, doesn't even phase them. Nothing I do does anymore. The best I get is a wheezing laugh. It’s horrible.

 

“Meditate on it!” the keyboard shrinks, dimensions folding in on themselves till all that’s left is a mobile touch screen phone. That’s horrible too. What kind of wizard still uses a  _ phone  _ anymore! 

 

With a finally cheeky grin and a parting wink I am left alone with my :3 ‘rune’, instructions to mediate, and the urge to scream hysterically for 3 hours straight. 

 

I can feel the trees judging me as I close my eyes.


	2. Returning From The North To Make Some Bad Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meditation isnt working. Let's try anger shall we?

 

 

I met my mentor a few moon cycles after I got back from the Northlends. This freakin nerd was just...standing there at the broom station. Just. Looking around. All alone.

 

Ok sue me and my and older sibling instincts but I missed my group of little kids from the ‘lends and refused to let this person go ignored.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hi! I'm Lotus! Can you tell me about the florist in that shop there?”

 

“Uh...sure? They’re brunette, with-”

 

“NO! Tell me about them if they weren’t here.”

 

The air crackles with magic and it clicks.

 

“Oh. you want a dimensional spell. Ok!” It takes a bit to focus, to channel the flow of this world into a different one, and then to take the energy I see and turn it into words. I tell them a tale of someone too emphatic for their job, for their world, for the death they see everyday. When I'm done Lotus grins and tells me about two people on the side of the road who fall in love. They’re stuck in the car, a date gone bad, and Lotus tells it so well all my time in the Northlends seem wasted after a single minute of listening.   


“Where did you learn?” I ask when they’re done, content and smiling under my praise.

 

“I taught myself!”

 

“Can you teach me?” It’s impulsive, nearly as impulsive as deciding to learn an entire new runeset and travel to the farthest place I can go on a whim but the Northlends never asked me to sign a contract and Lotus does.

 

I sign with the flourish I learned from my hometown sweetheart and become an apprentice to a wizard who’s an entire solar cycle younger than me. To someone who knows one singular type of magic that I happen to enjoy. I become an apprentice 5 solar cycles later than expected, after telling everyone I didn't want to be an apprentice and several moon phases later I’m sitting in the dirt learning about new magic tech _bullshit_.

 

The lower half of the :3 gets scuffed when I jar the earth with a light spell. It was one Lotus had taught me in the beginning, child’s play. Literally. It’s made to alter the light around your hand, an illusion spell to amuse little ones. When I release the magic the :3 is still intact under my fingers.

“You’re the worst.” I whisper, and I mean it. The :3 face doesn't change. Mediating hasn’t worked, I don't understand it. I _still_ don’t understand it.

.

.

.

Beating the bark off of some of the judgmental trees makes my knuckles bleed and my hands ache but I feel a little better. Plus the trees have shut up! I see no problems with this.


	3. What Was She Even Doing In The First Place?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im like? i guess im ok with this chapter but it's def not one of my favorite chapters or favorite anything really but I build on several things from this chapter in later ones so necessary evil and all that. 
> 
> I also threw my IRL habit of swearing in russian and sloppily translating american metaphors into russian and then back again bc this is a self insert and i have no sense of self preservation

.

.

.

“Lotus none of your notes make sense. I don't even know half the languages their written in!” 

 

I duck when Orca swoops at me, so used to dodging that little asshole of bird’s petty swipes that I barely even lift my head from the book in my hand. Lotus has scribbled little things in the margins, small slanted writing nearly illegible through the glitter spell pen, the 4 alternating languages they’ve written in, and the fact it’s nearly dark out. 

 

Orca swoops again, cawing that too intelligent caw of his and I smack him out of the air with a huff, “Lotus you’re familiar is trying to kill me again,” I call, stepping out into the front garden.

 

“Lotus?”

 

Nothing but silence greets me, which is odd considering Lotus is constantly vibrating at a low frequency. They’re like a human white noise machine and after spending so many months with that to fill the quiet, this silence is ominous in the worst of ways.

 

Orca caws again, taking another swipe at me with his claws. I snap the book shut, ducking to both avoid the claws coming at my face and set the book safely down.  

 

“OK!” I snap, “I’m listening this time. Where is Lotus?” 

 

Orca doesn't dein me with a response just glides off down the road towards town. I whistle, three long high notes to tell Gideon I’m leaving and it’s an emergency as I run after Orca. 

 

Another series of whistles are carried further by a sloppy language sub spell. My Northlends instructor would kill me for my shoddy pronunciation of the sounds and the way the exact messages get warped but I really can’t care about what Mrs. Ries would say right now. Lotus just needs to know I’m coming.

 

I’m firing off a second spell when I see the top of the High Council’s Commissioners wagon. 

 

_ “Дерьмо”  _ the spell converts on it’s own, twisting into a fire language spell which is really just me swearing but fancier this time. 

 

“OFFICER!” I yell as a skidd around the corner, my bare feet doing minimal to help me turn, “OFFICER WAIT!” 

 

A large person smiles serenely at me, like they don't have my best friend shackled in aint magic chains ready to be shipped off gods know where because I forgot to file some fugging paperwork.

“What can I help you with miss?” 

 

Lotus looks nervous, as I huff and puff and look her over. Gods I need to get back on a cardio schedule this is embarrassing!

 

“They’re my mentor,” I wheeze, straightening up into a defensive position. My lower back aches in protest but it usually aches so it’s not that big of a problem.

 

The officer sighs softly, Lotus’s chains clinking together softly in the background. “I'm afraid that’s not enough. I have to take-”

 

“But they’re with me!” I blurt, never able to hold my tongue around the authorities. 

 

“An ancient entity must have either paperwork or a specific support purpose to be left untouched by the High Council of-” 

 

I barely stiffel an eye roll at the over recited done of propaganda, “Yeah yeah whatever I know that but what do you specifically consider a support purpose.” the officer doesn't scare me. They never have. If I can, and have, talked my out of flat our stealing a carrier dragon I can sure as shit talk my way around some flimsy backwashed ground of Cease and Arrest. 

 

“Well,” the officer’s eyes gleam in a way that turns something in my gut. I'm going to have to be emotionally vulnerable aren't I?

 

“Any kind of physical therapy can be counted but by the way you came barreling over I doubt you’d be the recipient of anything like that.” 

 

I cross my arms impatiently, backed into a corner, “Anything else?” I hiss, trying my best not to look at Lotus and give away how desperate I am to get her out of there.

 

“There’s also…” the officer looks at me with that same I'm Gonna Make You Divulge A Big Thing look in their eye, “emotional support.” 

 

“ **_Дерьмо_ ** ,”

 

“Now there’s no need for that kind of Language Magic,” the officer scolds, leaning back against the wagon. Lotus’s chains clink some more and I glance down, eyes drawn to the source of the noise. Lotus’s eyes are wide a saucers, scared and shaking on a much more human level then her usual vibrations.  _ Crap _

 

“They’re,” I wave my hand around uselessly, swallowing around the reflexive anger, “supportive to me.” 

 

Lotus snorts at the same time the officer raises one eyebrow, “I’m going to need you to be more specific.” 

 

_ “SAY I'M YOUR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANCIENT ENTITY!!!”  _ Lotus’s eyes are narrowed with concenration and their voice in my head is  _ loud _ / I’m pretty sure one of eyes is watering from the sheer pressure of the scream inside my head. 

 

The officer pushes off the wagon, face softening, “Miss?” they prompt.

 

I wipe away the reflex tear with the most beilevable sniffle I can muster with a 2 second warning. What’s the saying? возьми то, что имеешь. заставить это работать на вас. Take what you have and make it work.

 

I blink rapidly, throwing in another sniffle for good measure.

 

"You're- you're really going to take them away if I don’t say it?"

"I have too miss,” the officer looks a bit reluncant now but doesn't back down, “Orders of the High Council of Wizards. If this ancient entity has no paperwork and no other purpose here then I must take them into custody for questioning."

Letting out a rumbling sob that my Northlend Aninomics professor would be proud of, I close me eyes, bracing myself. 

 

"Sir-" 

 

I can't. I can't do it. It's one thing to say to the trees who can't tell anyone-

 

"Yes miss?" 

 

But to say it to a real live person who will hear it and write it down and- 

 

"Sir that's my emotional support ancient entity." it’s a broken whisper, and I can't meet anyone’s eyes.

 

“What was that miss?” 

 

Something flares hot and fierce in my gut, the dramatic act falling away in an instant. Whether it’s magic or rage it can't tell but it’s powerful and I use it to lift my head and darken my gaze.

 

“Sir that’s my emotional support ancient entity. You can’t take them away if they’ve got purpose here. I'm their purpose and they are mine. By law they stay with me.” The heat in my gut deepens, warping into something akin to steel, “You can’t take them.”

 

The officer nods., "That's correct miss."  Turning to Lotus the officer marks out a quick spell in the air. The chains fall off, "You're free to go."

 

Lotus beams, hurring over to stand a bit behind me.

 

"The rest of the day to you." the officer tips their hat.

 

"And to you." I mutter, not ready to be friendly again but unable to let the greeting go unanswered. One hand curls protectively back towards Lotus even as the officer spins and walks away. 

 

We both stand there until the officer and his magic are well out of psychic sight.

 

"Are you ok?" Lotus asks, hesitiably prodding at my shoulder. They're nearly half a dwarf taller than I am now. 

 

Dropping their arm I turn, heading back for our cottage, "No. I am in physical fugging pain." the steel in my stomach softens to something moltened, flowing through my veins and powering my quick strides.

 

Lotus snorts, falling into step beside me, "Yeah you looked pretty constipated there for a minute." 

 

"I cannot believe I actually had say that to real live person." 

 

"Well I'd hope he's a real live person! Be a bit shameful to be arrested by a illusion or something." 

 

That startles a breathless laugh out of me, and I can feel the tension draining from my magic the closer we get to home. My feet slowing as we get closer to safety.

 

"You're the absolute worst." 

 

"I know!" Lotus chirps, skipping ahead when the dragon house comes into view, "butcha love me~!" 

 

Gideon huffs out a cloud of smoke over Lotus's head, as we past and I shake my head. 

 

"I don't know why but I do."

 

"What was that?" Lotus calls back

 

"YOU HAVE ASH ON YOUR FACE! GET A CLUE!" 

 

Lotus sticks out their tongue and then promptly sucks it back in when Gideon puffs out more smoke.

 

"Whose side are you on?" 

 

Gideon flies down and perches on my head, "The winning one." He shoots a small flame into the sky as if to confirm my statement.

 

"See if I help you to fish anymore!" 

 

Gideon shoots another flame and takes to sky.

 

"You know he hates fish right? He only goes because you like it so much." 

 

Lotus stops in the middle of the road, uncaring of the way i nearly ram right into them.

 

"You come with us though." 

 

"Yeah-" I step around both Lotus and their implications, "Now let's go, it's your turn to cook and I need bath."

 

Lotus takes off like a shot through the house, "YOU WERENT THE ONE CAPTURED BY VILLAINS THOUGH!" 

 

"DON’T YOU DARE!" I call, thundering after them, knowing in my bones I'll be locked out of the bathroom if I don’t get there first.

 

It’s a race, both of us bouncing off door jambs and counters and screeching the entire time.

 

“LOTUS!” I’m half a second to behind them, chasing the motes of magic that fly off the soles of their boots. 

 

“CHEATER!”

 

The door slams in face, nearly taking off my nose, "You have fire magic!" Lotus calls through the wood, "You don’t need hot water." 

 

They're right, all the baths I take are cold these days but, "IT'S THE  _ PRINCIPLE _ !" 

 

"We're not in school!" 

 

I can hear water sloshing. 

 

"That was horrid joke and you know it!" I peel off my boots, resigned to my fate of no bath till after supper.

 

Lotus's laugh chases me all the way back to my quarters. Maybe they’re good for this emotional support thing after all. Gideon curls up on my bed, raising one scaly eyebrow.

 

“Don't you dare even think it you overgrown lizard. I'm here for one set of spells and that’s it.” 

 

Gideon snorts hard enough to add another scorch mark to my bed spread. The awful beast.

 

I flop down beside him, one hand coming up to scratch behind his ears. “That was the plan at least.” I say to ceiling. Gideon purrs under my fingers and nudges me with his snout. “Yeah ok.” I roll over onto my stomach, scratching with both hands now, “no angsting before dinner, I got it.” 

 

Gideon chirups and distracts me long enough for Lotus to finish their bath and for me to take mine as they cook, shouting questions at me the whole time.

.

.

.

I don't think of my rapidly crumbling plans till I’m drifting off with a warm belly full of food in a dry bed with my back to the door. 


End file.
